A woman from the UK, who chose to remain anonymous, recently shared her experience of becoming a surrogate for a couple in need of assistance in building their family. Now a mother of five, aged between 22 and nine, she gave birth to Joy, the biological child of another couple, in 2024. Joy is currently eight months old and the surrogate maintains an ongoing relationship with her intended parents, frequently receiving messages and photos of the baby. She highlights that trust is paramount in such a surrogacy arrangement.
Under UK law, the surrogate and her husband are listed on Joy's birth certificate, despite the embryos being genetically linked to the intended parents. The couple can only begin applying for a parental order through the courts when their baby is six weeks old, which leads to the issuance of a new birth certificate. The surrogate is currently preparing for a court date regarding this matter.
The surrogate's husband, James, was supportive of her decision to help another couple have a child, and they decided to wait until their own family was complete before embarking on the surrogacy journey. She expressed that after having five children, she felt empathy towards those struggling with infertility, which motivated her interest in becoming a surrogate.
Her journey began in 2019 when her youngest child was around three years old, however, she paused her plans due to the onset of the pandemic in 2020. By 2022, nearing 40 years of age, she felt a renewed desire to help and realised that time was of the essence as she had surpassed the age limit for egg donation.
She described her pregnancies as beautiful experiences despite initial sickness, and she contacted My Surrogacy Journey (MSJ) for guidance throughout the process. A surrogacy coordinator assisted her with legal advice, counselling, and health checks, ensuring she was mentally prepared for the emotional journey ahead. She shared that her eldest children were aware of her decision and expressed their pride, emphasising the importance of receiving support from family.
In the selection process, the surrogate and her husband created a profile to find potential intended parents. Ultimately, they chose a couple with whom they felt a strong connection, having faced significant challenges including failed IVF attempts and a previous pregnancy loss.
Although surrogates in the UK are prohibited from receiving payment beyond reasonable costs, the surrogate was resolute in her intention to assist the couple without financial motivation. After a failed first embryo transfer in early 2023, the team regrouped, and a subsequent transfer was successful, confirming a positive pregnancy test through a live video call with the intended parents.
As her pregnancy progressed, she noted that she corrected well-wishers who assumed Joy was her baby, reinforcing that she was carrying for another couple. Communication with the intended parents remained open and supportive throughout, alleviating any concerns, and by the time of delivery, they were closely involved.
The day Joy was born, the surrogate was accompanied by the intended parents who supported her during a six-hour labour. As part of their birth plan, Joy was initially handed to the surrogate before the parents cut the umbilical cord, a moment described as deeply emotional but not experienced as a loss by the surrogate. After her birth, she expressed colostrum for Joy, although the intended parents opted not to use her breast milk. Instead, she donated her milk to the hospital to aid other infants in need.
Their relationship continues to flourish, with the surrogate visiting Joy regularly as she watches the baby grow. Currently, she is embarking on her second surrogacy journey with plans for another embryo transfer in the coming months, solidifying the bond with a new couple, while reflecting on her honour in facilitating the creation of a family for others.
Source: Noah Wire Services